Following the Clues
The journey toward my true self.
I didn’t wake up one morning and decide to embark on a spiritual journey. Looking back, I think I’ve been on one for quite some time. I just wasn’t necessarily looking at it that way.
My curiosity about meditation, Confucianism, and Taoism goes back years. I’ve always found different philosophical traditions interesting. There are certainly plenty of “isms” to explore, and apparently, I’ve never been one to shy away from a good philosophical rabbit hole.
Yoga has also been part of my life off and on for years, although I never developed a particularly consistent practice.
Then, over the last several years, I began studying and exploring tarot more seriously. What I didn’t necessarily expect was how those studies would bring some of my earlier interests and questions back to the surface.
Tarot encouraged me to look beyond the obvious, question my assumptions, and consider different perspectives. In doing so, I began recognizing connections between interests I had previously approached separately.
Meditation, yoga, philosophy, tarot. Different traditions, different practices, and different histories, but each offering opportunities to explore awareness, understanding, and the relationship I have with myself.
Lately, I’ve become increasingly curious about those connections. I want to understand not just the practices themselves, but the philosophies and histories behind them.
And perhaps most importantly, I want to move beyond simply being interested.
From Curiosity to Intention
I’ve reached a point where I want to approach these interests with greater purpose.
After years of practicing yoga off and on, I’ve begun the journey toward becoming a yoga instructor. It’s an opportunity to move beyond occasionally attending classes and develop a more consistent, intentional practice while studying the history, philosophy, and different disciplines of yoga.
I’m interested in more than learning postures or how to guide a class. I want to understand the traditions behind what I’m practicing, the relationship between movement, breath, and meditation, and how these practices contribute to greater self-awareness.
At the same time, I want to build on my previous experiences with meditation, continue exploring tarot, and follow my growing curiosity about consciousness, shamanic studies, and our relationship with the natural world.
I don’t see these traditions as interchangeable, and I’m not trying to fit them all into one belief system. I want to understand each within its own history and philosophy while remaining curious about the connections I discover through my own experiences.
Becoming a yoga instructor is part of this journey, but it isn’t the destination of Between Breath and Being. It’s another opportunity to study, practice, question, and discover what it means to be more fully myself.
Why Between Breath and Being?
The name reflects something I’m trying to understand, but also something I’ve begun to recognize about myself.
Breathing is something we do without thinking, yet I often feel as though life is moving so fast that I need to stop and catch my metaphorical breath. There always seems to be something that needs my attention, something to accomplish, or somewhere I need to be.
Looking back, I realize that contentment has never come particularly easily to me. I’ve always been someone who is striving for the next thing. Another goal, another project, another accomplishment, or simply something new to explore. I enjoy learning and challenging myself, and I don’t necessarily see that as a bad thing.
But I’ve also noticed that even when I accomplish something I’ve worked toward, the satisfaction doesn’t seem to last very long. I may enjoy the moment, but before I know it, I’m already thinking about what comes next.
It’s an interesting thing to recognize about myself. Am I pursuing these things because they genuinely interest me, because I enjoy the process, or because I’m always searching for something I haven’t quite found? Perhaps it’s a little of all three. And somewhere in all that doing, I wonder how much time I actually spend just being.
Through yoga, meditation, and my broader studies, I want to explore what it means to slow down and become more present. Not to give up my curiosity or ambition, but to understand my relationship with them. Can I continue learning, growing, and pursuing new experiences while also finding contentment in where I am right now?
Being is a little harder to define.
What does it mean to simply be? To become quiet enough to recognize myself without all the expectations, responsibilities, habits, and assumptions that accumulate along the way?
I’m interested in that space between doing and being, between studying an idea and experiencing it, between the person I think I am and the person I may come to understand more fully.
I don’t expect to answer those questions in a single meditation session. Although that would certainly make things easier.
A Place to Study, Practice, and Reflect
I created Between Breath and Being because I wanted a place to explore these questions with greater intention. A place where my curiosity has room to wander, but where I also take the time to consider what I’m learning and how it relates to my own life. I want to study ideas, experience practices for myself, and reflect on what they reveal, not just about the world, but about me. Perhaps, somewhere along the way, I’ll begin to understand what it means to feel content without always needing to pursue the next thing.
This blog is my personal journal, but it’s also a place for research.
I enjoy understanding where ideas come from. I want to explore the history and philosophy of yoga across different traditions and disciplines, study meditation and consciousness, and learn about shamanic and animistic traditions with respect for their cultural origins. I’m interested in both the similarities and differences among these approaches, without assuming they all lead to the same understanding.
There will probably be some overlap with my work at Tarot Studies, where I spend a considerable amount of time researching and writing about tarot. Those studies have played an important role in bringing some of my earlier interests back into focus, so I imagine they’ll occasionally find their way into these pages. Here, though, I’m approaching those connections from a more personal perspective. If tarot happens to spark your curiosity, you’re more than welcome to wander over to Tarot Studies and explore. Just be warned, there are quite a few rabbit holes over there, too.
I also want to document what happens when I put some of what I’m learning into practice.
There will be research articles, book notes, journal entries, reflections on meditation and yoga, and probably a few philosophical rabbit holes along the way.
But it won’t all be serious. I’m human, and my very human view of the world is bound to make an appearance. I have opinions, a sense of humor, and a tendency to find the absurd in everyday situations. Some days I may be contemplating the nature of consciousness. Other days I may be wondering why finding five minutes of peace and quiet seems to require a detailed strategic plan. Both belong here.
Some experiences may deepen my understanding. Others may challenge what I thought I knew. I expect there will be questions that lead to more questions, moments of clarity, and probably a few occasions when I have to laugh at myself.
That’s part of what makes this interesting.
Following the Clues
I’ve started thinking of this journey as following the clues I’ve been given.
Not necessarily mysterious signs or messages, but the interests that keep returning, the questions that won’t quite go away, and the moments when something I’ve studied begins to connect with something I’ve experienced.
Yoga, meditation, tarot, philosophy, and my questions about contentment are where I’m starting. They are the interests and experiences that have brought me to this point, but I have no idea where they might lead or what else I’ll discover along the way.
And I’m perfectly fine with that. Well, at least I’m working on being fine with not knowing what comes next. That may turn out to be a study in itself.
I want to pay attention to the connections I discover without rushing to explain them or deciding in advance what they should mean.
Between Breath and Being is where I’ll document what I discover, what I question, what makes me laugh, what challenges my thinking, and how my understanding changes along the way.
I’m writing primarily for myself. If others find something interesting, useful, or familiar in these pages, they’re welcome to follow along.
I’m not here because I’ve found all the answers. I’m not even entirely sure I’m asking the right questions yet.
This is simply where I’m starting. Where it leads is open to exploration.
Three ways of exploring
I study to understand. I practice to experience. I write to reflect.
The Journal
Personal reflections, everyday observations, questions, discoveries, and the occasional detour into the absurd.
The Study
Following my curiosity through history, philosophy, research, and ideas worth exploring a little further.
The Practice
Taking what I’m learning into everyday life through yoga, meditation, and personal experience.